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The passenger restraint malfunction alert lit up on my dashboard. Is it just me, or is there always a sensor not happy? When did our cars become so sensitive, anyway? Instead of taking it to the dealer as the alert advised, I Googled how to fix it. I learned if I went under the seat and jiggled the connection of the wire in the box, it would help. That seemed too easy, but I did it, and then left for the airport to pick up my friend, who would become a “passenger,” and I didn’t want her worried her restraint system wasn’t working.
I then forgot about it for four days. This morning, as I brushed my teeth, I realized the alert had not returned! I had fixed it! It was a no-news-is-good-news situation.
One moment, I was going about my usual morning routine, mentally preparing for the day ahead. The next, a profound sense of self-satisfaction, self-sufficiency, and accomplishment washed over me, all from a simple act of noticing.
I reveled in it.
It made me wonder: What have you accomplished but have been too busy to notice?
Are you so focused on what is next that you haven’t acknowledged what you’ve achieved?
In their book 10X is Easier than 2x, Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan identify three characteristics of a transformational leader. One is the ability to “shift seemingly negative or challenging circumstances into opportunities for gains and growth.”
“The only way to measure the distance you’ve traveled is by measuring from where you are back to the point where you started, not from where you are toward the horizon.”
– Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy, The Gap and The Gain: The high achievers’ guide to happiness, confidence, and success.
To use Hardy and Sullivan’s language, are you focusing on the gap or the gain?
This is not about being optimistic or seeing things half full rather than half empty. This is about the story you tell yourself about what is true.
We make meaning of things that are happening all the time. It’s human nature to do this. In fact, meaning-making is one of the things that separates humans from other species. The stories we tell ourselves about our lives can either hold us back or propel us forward, depending on whether they focus on lack or achievement.
We have agency over that narrative. It’s incredible. When we pay attention to it and shift it toward achievement rather than lack, our mindset changes, and so does how we show up in the world.
When we celebrate our wins, no matter how small, they become fuel for further growth and success.
My whole day changed when I realized I fixed the sensor issue in my car!
What does it look like to focus on the gain instead of the gap? Here’s what it looked like a few hours after brushing my teeth:
I went into the kitchen to make a coffee and immediately saw what needed tidying—stopped myself. Instead, I looked at the room: the open kitchen, living room, and dining room, the culmination of a six-year project to build our dream house in the mountains and everything we went through to make it happen.
I headed out for a Nordic ski, focusing on my coaching calls that morning and what I would cover—I stopped myself. I looked beyond my noisy brain and saw a moody sunrise, wind-blown snow that cooled my cheeks, and trees heavy with snow.
It’s a mindfulness and gratitude practice – we have to catch ourselves in the act of telling ourselves the gap story and return to the gain.
In this vein, about the stories we tell ourselves. I’m cooking up something pretty special with my colleague/friend, and we will announce it in a few weeks. It’s a project that’s been in the works for a while, and we’re excited to share it with you. Stay tuned!
Take care out there.
SOME WAYS I MAY BE ABLE TO HELP YOU AND YOUR TEAM:
LEAD YOUR WAY: This mentoring/coaching program is designed to help you step into your leadership and show up as your best self so you can communicate to connect and amplify your impact.
COMMUNICATE TO CONNECT: In my storytelling workshops, I teach leaders of all capabilities how to engage authentically with their teams, community, and stakeholders to create meaningful connections that build trust, increase team engagement and lead to better fundraising and revenue generation. See a video showcasing my work here.
Did you have something else in mind? Let’s talk and see how I might be able to help. Contact me and we’ll schedule a chat.
Stay in touch.
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