Listen to the blog here.
Whenever I travel for work, I look up who else I know or want to know in that city and invite them for a coffee. It’s a great way to build relationships and make the most of a trip. A CEO I had briefly met a year before accepted my invitation and asked me to come to his office. I got a little weird the morning of the meeting, uncertain about what we’d talk about and needing to make a strategy for the conversation. Questions ran through my mind, such as what exactly I wanted to get out of it and why he accepted the invitation. In other words, how could I be of service to him?
It was a gorgeous summer morning, so I walked the 20 minutes to the office from my hotel instead of taking an Uber. It was a lovely way to see the city, too.
As soon as I entered the air conditioning, I experienced a delayed response in my thermoregulation, which is a nice way of saying I began to sweat profusely.
(Storytelling note: Most of the details so far in this story aren’t relevant to the point but were included to either – help you get to know me a little more, give you some inspiration on your next business trip, relate to me feeling socially awkward, or make a mental note to take the Uber.)
Returning to the story, I had several questions prepared for our meeting, and I soon realized that was all it took. After the first question, the conversation flowed. I focused on listening. Occasionally, I found myself thinking, ‘Come up with something intelligent to say.’ I did manage to contribute a thing here and there, but primarily, I kept asking questions.
At the end of our hour-long meeting, he said, “I sincerely enjoyed our conversation. Thanks so much for stopping by,” followed by some nice things about me and some opportunities to work together in the future. Honestly, I was surprised that was his assessment of the conversation because I felt like I hadn’t said much; I hadn’t showcased my knowledge.
As I walked back to my hotel, mopping up additional sweat, I reflected on the experience and realized it wasn’t about showcasing my knowledge.
“Human beings like to share.” In Life is in the Transitions, Bruce Feiler cites a study out of Harvard that found “between 30 and 40 percent of (humans’) speech output is solely to informing others of their own subjective experiences.
He explains that “personal revelations release soothing chemicals” and that sharing our experiences is therapeutic. The teller’s heart rate and blood pressure rise initially but then, fall below their previous levels.
Telling stories is good for us. Humans love to share, and it makes us feel better.
What does that mean for you as a leader? Worry less about your own stories and consider the great questions you can ask your teams, clients, and stakeholders. Listen to their stories. And they’ll feel great after having a conversation with you.
And please, for the love of all things fresh, take the Uber.
Take care out there.
WHEN YOU’RE READY, HERE ARE SOME WAYS I CAN SUPPORT YOU AND YOUR TEAM.
See a video showcasing my work here and if you need help with one of the items below, let’s schedule a time to talk.
One-to-one – Powerful Presenters mentoring: Want to transform complex ideas into unforgettable messages? We’ll work together to prepare you for your next presentation.
Your Team – Power of Story workshop: I teach leaders of all capabilities how to engage authentically with their teams, community, and stakeholders to create meaningful connections that build trust, increase team engagement, and lead to better fundraising and revenue generation.
Your off-site or next event: Lead With Story keynote: My keynote is often used as a moment of connection to open events and get the creative juices flowing.
Retreat: Pause in Provence: In late September 2026 I’ll be co-hosting a five-night retreat in the south of France with strategic thinker Rebecca Sutherns. Hit pause on your busy life, slow down, and focus on reimagining the next chapter of your story. More details to come, but if you’d like to be the first to learn more about this experience, join the waitlist.
Need something else you think I can help with? I’d love to connect.
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