We often learn through contrast, so today, I want to talk about the opposite of story. In understanding what a story is not, we learn more about what a story is and what it can do.
About five years ago, I received an email from a big tech company with the subject line:
“Important information about your account.”
Because I didn’t think I had an account with this company, I ignored it as spam. When I received it a third time, I opened it to take a look. I’m glad I did because it turns out I do have an account with their subsidiary, so it did pertain to me. And oh boy, is it a perfect example of what a story is not. (rubs her hands in glee)
Following is the email. And I quote. {With some running commentary, mine, in the brackets}
To our valued user, {It turns me on when you call me ‘valued user.’ Hi, I have a name. You know my name – and my credit card number. Mail merge is not complicated}
We’re happy to announce that on January 31, ABC Enterprises and XYC Systems completed our merger. For our users, the new XYZ will offer best-in-class capabilities across a much larger combined portfolio – immediately increasing choice and value – while featuring the scale, resources, and world-class talent required to accelerate innovation and address future needs. {I’m sorry, what? I don’t know what this means.}
You are receiving this email because you and/or your company (which we may refer to as “you” in this email) are a valued user of XYC services… {this was when I realized this email was intended for me. Getting that far to discover ‘why me’ requires a lot of curiosity from the receiver.}
{It was signed by} Customer Care
“Please note that replies to this email are not monitored – please do not reply to this email. As always, please feel free to contact us here: <link redacted>” {ironic to follow a signature of Customer Care with a message that indicates the opposite. They have someone monitoring the forms submitted at the link, but they can’t have someone monitoring an email inbox. I’d say that’s Customer Un-Care.}
The purpose in storytelling is to create connection with your audience. The opposite of connection is detachment or disconnection.
This important communication about a merger feels box-checky and disconnecting.
✅ – write the merger email for subscribers.
It’s like celery which has no taste and no nutritional value. What’s the point in eating it?
If you’re going to take space in someone’s inbox, you want to claim some space in their mind. Checking the box with big words achieves nothing. It has no taste and no nutritional value, so either switch to carrots or don’t send the email.
I hate seeing opportunities to connect such as this one squandered.
Think about the receiver and give them an experience, not celery. An experience would be a letter from both CEOs of the two companies explaining in plain terms the value the merger brings to subscribers. An experience reveals possibility, and it might provide context to the importance of this merger to succeed in the marketplace and the challenges or barriers to overcome.
You aren’t box-checky, and I know this; otherwise, you wouldn’t have read this far. Go eat your broccoli and carrots and do yourself a favor; leave the celery out.
This is an edit and repost of a post I wrote in 2017.
Take care out there!
Some ways I may be able to help you and your team:
Need Guidance And Accountability? Take a big leap: I advise purpose-driven individuals who want to make a big change, level up their career, start a new chapter, or launch a thing. I still have a few spaces available in April for my Take a Big Leap Advisory program. Respond here, and we can schedule a time to discuss.
Help Non-Profit Team Members Level Up their Storytelling. In this three-part series, I can work with your team to help you elevate your organization’s communications and storytelling skills. Want more details? Respond here to schedule a time to talk.
Digital Transformation. Need to bring your work online? I’m here to help. Contact me for details.
Stay in touch.
Sign up for our newsletter / podcast to get emails of great stories like this.
[ssba]
Leave a Reply