In The War of Art, Steven Pressfield shines a light on what he calls “resistance.” It’s the thing that keeps us from doing what we dream of doing. Resistance can manifest itself in self-doubt, procrastination, rationalization, or any other host of ways.
More than likely, a story you tell yourself causes resistance about the change you want to make, and it affects your being able to make that change. Resistance keeps you seemingly safe. No judgment there. It’s something we all do.
I have been following someone who runs a program I’ve considered doing for years. She doesn’t know me, and I don’t have permission to tell her story, so I’m purposely keeping it vague and anonymous.
She recently sold her company and has moved on to do something new, which requires her to “sell herself.” What I mean by that is that she is no longer the CEO of a company that sells programs, but a person whose identity is tied up in what she is selling. This feels more personal and more vulnerable. It requires that she “tell her story” and “put herself out there.” She has been overt about her reluctance to do this, but does it, which is more than many people would do.
Where do you land on this spectrum from unapologetically “putting yourself out there” to hesitantly doing so, to staying where you are because it feels more comfortable?
You might be a leader, an emerging leader, self-employed, or in the private or nonprofit sector. At some level, each of us struggles to tell our story for various reasons: You don’t want to make it about you, no one is interested, you don’t have an interesting story to tell. I’ve heard all of these and more. They are stories we tell ourselves. They are bad stories.
In a world where we need to get people to go out of their way to choose us, they aren’t going to do it if they don’t have this absolute nagging feeling that they want to. They have far too little time and far too many options with that time. To give you attention, trust and their time (in some cases some effort) is going to require giving a little of yourself.
Reflect on how you make choices for your doctor, your therapist, your dog sitter, and where you buy your clothes, and what it is that drives you to choose one over another.
Here’s the good news. It doesn’t have to be as vulnerable or soul-bearing as you might think. It’s truly remarkable the small ways we can tell our stories that get people to connect to us.
On my About page, there is a photo of me on skis with my Bernese Mountain Dog. Do you know how many people ask me about that dog? Half of my prospective client calls end with a discussion about Berners or dogs.
Last March, I left on a trip to Alaska that intimidated me, so I wrote an OOO message about fear and surrounding yourself not with people who are smarter than you, but more courageous than you, to push you through your comfort levels. I set it up, and I promptly forgot about it. When I returned, I had a coffee meeting with someone who said the email really prompted her to reflect on the thing in front of her that she is resisting.
I share this because you don’t realize the impact your story will have on someone unless you tell the story. And “telling your story” doesn’t mean starting with where you were born and went to school. It’s about infusing the experience of you into everything you do. Bringing the things you love into your work. Being vulnerable about the things going on with you, like I was when I wrote about this thing I was about to tackle that made me anxious.
These are the things that make you real and relatable. Because at the end of the day, people will make decisions emotionally. Assuming you check all the transactional boxes that your competitors also share, it will come down to a person’s gut feeling, and if they know and relate to you.
If we can’t see who you are, how you think, and that you are someone we want to associate with, we’ll choose something or someone else.
It starts with the small ways. Try it and see what happens.
If you’ve been contemplating your story and the next chapter, registration opens this week, May 15th, for Pause in Provence, a five-day retreat in September 2026 (that’s next year! Not this year), and with a $350 USD deposit, you can secure your place. Room selection in our fabulous villa will be based on a first-come, first-served basis. Find all the details here.
Take care out there.
WHEN YOU’RE READY, HERE ARE SOME WAYS I CAN SUPPORT YOU AND YOUR TEAM.
See a video showcasing my work here and if you need help with one of the items below, let’s schedule a time to talk.
One-to-one – Powerful Presenters mentoring: Want to transform complex ideas into unforgettable messages? We’ll work together to prepare you for your next presentation.
Your Team – Power of Story workshop: I teach leaders of all capabilities how to engage authentically with their teams, community, and stakeholders to create meaningful connections that build trust, increase team engagement, and lead to better fundraising and revenue generation.
Your off-site or next event: Lead With Story keynote: My keynote is often used as a moment of connection to open events and get the creative juices flowing.
Need something else you think I can help with? I’d love to connect.
Stay in touch.
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