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Many of my conversations with leaders right now look something like this:
- How can we talk about XYZ without sounding “political?”
- I’m worried about the well-being of our people.
- And when I see people out and about, I ask how they are. The response is usually not OK.
So I’m writing about them. Today: How to talk to our clients, donors, and people when they feel anxious and uncertain.
“How are you?” No, really. How are you? It’s a heavy question right now. I have a friend whose coworkers know they can’t ask him this unless they really want to know.
Over breakfast the other morning, a friend asked ME how I was.
I had to think about it. I have no choice but to be OK. I focus on where I can make a difference. And I keep living my life. What that might look like: I went skiing last weekend, enjoying a sunny morning on the spring-like slopes, and had to tear myself away much sooner than I wanted to drive into town and participate in the Hands-Off protests. I wanted to make a sign that said, “I should be skiing right now.” (But instead, I have to be an activist.)
That’s a privileged place to come from, but I showed up. Believe me, I was tempted to keep living my life, but I wanted my presence to be counted. So I live my life, and I do what I can. I call elected officials, educate myself, and fact-check what I hear in the news. I help my clients do good work to make the world a better place. I limit my news consumption to a couple of hours in the afternoon (I cannot start my day with it and certainly can’t finish my day with it!) and I avoid bitching about the state of the world at parties.
In other words, I focus on where I can contribute in a meaningful and positive way.
That’s all any of us can do.
My friend Tom is a retired financial advisor and is very well-respected in the field. I asked him what he’d tell his clients today if he were still working. No one knows what the future holds, he said. And to pretend otherwise is presumptuous. What humans need right now is not someone to give them answers and solutions but someone to sit with them in their fear and anxiety and validate it.
It sounds brutal, but think about it. Many FAs might respond with facts and data showing long-term rates of return on financial markets or, even worse, give false hope that everything will be all right.
What people want is someone to accompany them in their feelings. David Brooks tells of a woman with a brain injury who is particularly prone to falling. Every time she falls, people rush to help her up. She said, for once, I’d love for someone to lay on the ground with me. That’s the power of validation in emotional support. (How to Know a Person)
Like Stitch, a character celebrated for his empathy, he mirrors this little girl’s overwhelming excitement upon meeting her hero. When she falls, he does too, signaling that she isn’t alone. This narrative underscores the importance of being present with someone in their emotional experiences.
So as we speak with our clients, customers, donors, and employees, even when we are awake at night, having an internal dialogue with ourselves, I think about Stitch and the woman with the brain injury. Instead of fighting the feeling or responding with solutions, it’s remarkable what acknowledging the situation will do—validating what we’re feeling.
Then we can live our lives and do what we can. Ski and protest on the same day.
PS: Details are coming together for Pause in Provence, a retreat I am cohosting with Rebecca Sutherns from Sept 22 to 27, 2026. If you aren’t on the waitlist yet and are curious about it, you can join here. We will be rolling out the details as they get finalized. You will also receive information on joining us for a live Q and A on May 7th. So sign up here – no commitment is needed to be on the waitlist. It’s 100 percent risk-free. 🙂
Take care out there.
WHEN YOU’RE READY, HERE ARE SOME WAYS I CAN SUPPORT YOU AND YOUR TEAM.
See a video showcasing my work here and if you need help with one of the items below, let’s schedule a time to talk.
One-to-one – Powerful Presenters mentoring: Want to transform complex ideas into unforgettable messages? We’ll work together to prepare you for your next presentation.
Your Team – Power of Story workshop: I teach leaders of all capabilities how to engage authentically with their teams, community, and stakeholders to create meaningful connections that build trust, increase team engagement, and lead to better fundraising and revenue generation.
Your off-site or next event: Lead With Story keynote: My keynote is often used as a moment of connection to open events and get the creative juices flowing.
Need something else you think I can help with? I’d love to connect.
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