Listen to the blog here.
Many of my conversations with leaders right now look something like this:
- How can we talk about XYZ without sounding “political?”
- I’m worried about the well-being of our people.
- And when I see people out and about, I ask how they are. The response is usually not OK.
I’ve been thinking about how our work is needed now more than ever. We must be OK, do what we can, and do good work. To that end, I will write about these conversations, particularly how stories help us: how they bring hope, bring people together, and allow us to do good work, and how we use stories to keep ourselves going each day.
Let’s start with Constructionism and why understanding people is vital to leading in times of uncertainty. Constructionism is a social theory that posits that our perspectives and ideas are shaped by our experiences. David Brooks writes about this in How to Know a Person. For example, an introvert sees the room differently than an extrovert, and a security officer sees the room differently than an interior designer.
Because of this skewed interpretation of reality, if we want to connect with people, we need to understand how they see the world.
My friend and her daughter were visiting for a ski weekend a few weeks ago. We grew up in the same town. After college, she moved to the mid-Atlantic region, and I moved to the northwest. We picked up where we left off effortlessly. It was great to get out and ski with her again (we hadn’t since high school).
After a full day of skiing, it’s my privilege and duty to take Noli, the reluctant Great Pyrenees, for a walk. M and C accepted my invitation to join me, so we hopped in the car and drove the mile to the Viewski Loop trail. The trail is so popular that the snow track is packed down firm, and a good pair of soled boots or shoes will do. It’s a 1.5-mile loop with about 225 feet of gain up to a stunning viewpoint.
About a half-mile in, I expressed my happiness that they joined me. I usually walk alone, which is enjoyable, but having company is nice. That’s when M replied, “It’s a good thing you didn’t tell me what was involved.” (She might not have come if I had.)
I stopped in my tracks laughing. Of course. While this is a typical dog walk for me, it’s far from typical for them. And after a full day of skiing no less!
She continued, laughing “I assumed a dog walk meant we’d take a walk around the neighborhood.”
“People don’t see the world with their eyes; they see it with their entire life.” – David Brooks, How to Know a Person
It never occurred to me to explain what the dog walk involved because I assumed a dog walk is exactly what we were doing.
Every day, we make unconscious assumptions that what we are talking about means the same to everyone.
We see the world through our experiences, and because our experiences are so varied, so are our perspectives.
Cognitive scientists call this constructionism – how humans create their perception of reality.
It’s helpful to consider:
- What is their reality? What is their upbringing? What factors might influence how they perceive your idea?
- Equally important is understanding how others perceive the situation. Their perspectives may illuminate aspects you might have overlooked.
- How are they experiencing the moment?
PS. I’ve made more time for my one-on-one mentoring program, Powerful Presenters. If you struggle to strike a balance in your communications, communicate through uncertainty and chaos, or convey ideas without being “political,” I can help. Message me and let’s schedule a quick call.
And, I’m excited to join 501 Commons to host a webcast for nonprofit leaders on the power of story on April 2nd, from noon to 1:30 PT. It’s free of charge and you can register here.
Take care out there.
WHEN YOU’RE READY, HERE ARE SOME WAYS I CAN SUPPORT YOU AND YOUR TEAM.
See a video showcasing my work here and if you need help with one of the items below, let’s schedule a time to talk.
One-to-one – Powerful Presenters mentoring: Want to transform complex ideas into unforgettable messages? We’ll work together to prepare you for your next presentation.
Your Team – Power of Story workshop: I teach leaders of all capabilities how to engage authentically with their teams, community, and stakeholders to create meaningful connections that build trust, increase team engagement, and lead to better fundraising and revenue generation.
Your off-site or next event: Lead With Story keynote: My keynote is often used as a moment of connection to open events and get the creative juices flowing.
Retreat: Pause in Provence: In late September 2026 I’ll be co-hosting a five-night retreat in the south of France with strategic thinker Rebecca Sutherns. Hit pause on your busy life, slow down, and focus on reimagining the next chapter of your story. More details to come, but if you’d like to be the first to learn more about this experience, join the waitlist.
Need something else you think I can help with? I’d love to connect.
Stay in touch.
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